


Blue Blistering Barnacles! A Primer to the Tintin/Haddock Ship.

by Saucery



Category: Tintin
Genre: Canon - Comics, Canon - Movie, Embedded Images, Embedded Video, Essays, Fannish Swan Song, GIF-Assisted Squeeage, M/M, Meta, Proof of Gay, Ship Manifesto, So Married, Squee, Subtext, Their Love Is So, Why Ship Them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-30
Updated: 2011-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-28 12:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saucery/pseuds/Saucery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Exactly</i> what it says in the title. Prepare your swashes - they <i>will</i> be buckled!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Blistering Barnacles! A Primer to the Tintin/Haddock Ship.

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to the various Tumblr users that created these GIFs!

* * *

  
OH. MY. GAWD.

Tintin. _Tintin_. How could you be so hot _and_ so slashy? IT BOGGLES THE MIND. MY MIND, IT IS BOGGLED.

Okay. Guys? I'd _always_ shipped Tintin/Haddock, even when I'd been a child reading the original comics. (I was a weird kid. What can I say?) But I'd never realized how _hard_ I shipped them.

Until now.

    

  
The entire Spielberg movie is like a love-song to the Tintin/Haddock ship. They meet under less than favorable circumstances (Haddock is appallingly drunk; Tintin breaks into his cabin), but then their relationship _blossoms_ wonderfully, and, hey, you know what? Even that 'less than favorable' beginning is _incredibly_ slashy.

Witness their very first exchange:

**Haddock:** So you thought you'd sneak in an' catch me with me trousers down, eh?  
 **Tintin:** I'd rather you kept your trousers on, if it's all the same to you!

THIS. IS THEIR FIRST. MEETING.

THEY START FLIRTING _IMMEDIATELY_.

Dear God. Or, more appropriately - blue blistering barnacles! The eye-fucking! The gratuitous touching! The _wall-throwing_! You don't even have to be into the bear/twink ( _or_ Daddy/boy) kink to appreciate this ship! It's just _undeniable_!

_Jesus_. Here's a combination of the eye-fucking _and_ the gratuitous touching _and_ the wall-throwing, all in one stupendously slashy scene:

  
And that isn't even the _half_ of it. (Or the quarter. Or the _sixteenth_.)

Haddock pays undue attention to Tintin's body and general appearance, referring repeatedly to his youth (calling him a 'baby-faced assassin') and his slenderness. He's obviously, _visibly_ attracted to Tintin - physically _and_ emotionally. He's drawn to Tintin's fire, to his devil-may-care purity, to his relentless _pursuit_ of the truth. His life changes the very _moment_ Tintin stumbles (er - breaks) into it.

And as for Tintin? Tintin's eyes widen _beautifully_ whenever he catches a glimpse of Haddock's true goodness and courage. (They also _narrow_ beautifully when Haddock lets himself down, by indulging in his alcoholic tendencies or otherwise selling himself short.) Tintin's determined to bring Haddock to a realization of how _good_ he really is, how worthy he is, both of his destiny and of - Tintin's love? Heh. _Definitely_ of Tintin's love, because, come hell or high water, he _has_ it.  


  
When Haddock loses faith or loses his way, Tintin upbraids him and/or motivates him as required - and when _Tintin_ loses hope, Haddock's right there to pick him back up.

 **Haddock:** I thought you were an optimist.  
 **Tintin:** You were wrong, weren't you? I'm a realist.  
 **Haddock:** Ah, it's just another name for a quitter.  
 **Tintin:** You can call me what you like. Don't you get it? We failed.  
 **Haddock:** Failed. There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. A hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal; that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you.

They're inseparable. And, by the end of the movie, it's made clear that they'll _continue_ to be inseparable - because they're all set to go on another adventure together, _and_ they're still flirting. Just in case, you know, you were in doubt about the future of their romantic relationship.

**Tintin:** [coyly and downright _seductively_ ] How's your thirst for adventure, Captain?  
 **Haddock:** [looking at Tintin with obvious lust and the desire to attempt certain _adventurous_ positions] Unquenchable, Tintin.

HA. Just.

Believe me. If your'e a slash fan? This movie will provide you with _plenty_ of ammunition. Enough to stock a _battleship's_ magazine.

And if your childhood memories have been forever scarred by this post?

Just be relieved I didn't try to sell you on the _Thomson/Thompson_ ship.

Hee.

  


* * *

**fin.**  
Please review!  
Or, uh, _discuss_.  
Or just squee with me, please.  
 _Please._


End file.
